Thursday, August 25, 2016

Scrapbook - 8/25

Two stories today, since both were pretty small.

In the ocean, with a life preserver, and nothing else as far as the eye can see

The sun is hot. There’s not a single cloud in the sky. I lean back and try to relax. Can’t stay on my back too long, I’ll start to burn. For now, though, it’s nice to not have to struggle to stay afloat. The life preserver is big enough to accommodate me, and I just float on the endless ocean. The only sound is a slight lapping of the water against my legs. I close my eyes, soaking in the sun’s heat. I feel the tension almost literally melt away.
My closed eyelids twitch as I think I hear something. It’s hard to be sure, it was so faint. A moment later, I hear it again, louder. Was that…No, it couldn’t have been. There’s nothing else on the ocean within sight. But the sound is louder, and I’m certain it’s somebody calling my name. I screw my eyes closed even tighter, trying to ignore it.
The door to my room bangs open, and my eyes open with it. I’m momentarily dazed by the sun lamp shining down on me from above, right into my face. I sit up on my bed, glaring at the intruder.
“I told you to take the garbage out an hour ago!” My mom yells at me. The soft ocean ambience playing from my stereo is no match for her shrill tones.
“Fine! Jeez! I can’t even get five minutes to try and relax after work?!”

“They all kept evolving”

“Well folks, lemme tell you, you are gonna love this blender. Just look at it. Isn’t it a beauty? That ergonomic grip, the contoured buttons. And it can be all yours for just $19.99. So call in now, because I’m sure we’re gonna run out of them in no-what? What’s that?
        “Sorry folks, the producers tell me the blenders have all…changed? I guess there was an inventory mistake or something, and they’re actually waffle irons. Lemme tell you though, I love me some fresh waffles. You can-wait, I thought this thing was supposed to be a waffle iron. No, this is clearly a salad tosser. Are you guys just messing with me now? Does this look like a waffle iron? No, I’m pretty sure it’s a-what the?! Where’d this crock pot come from?
         OK, come on guys, stop messing around and let me do my job. It’s-hey! This thing’s moving! It’s…what is this thing?! It’s turning into…into some kind of robot! Is that a gun? Oh no…no! NO!”

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